Please pray for my marriage. My husband and I have been married for two years. I prayed for so long that God would give me a wise husband and my husband usually is very wise, especially when it comes to prayer and noticing people’s pain. Recently, he has had a very stressful job where he has to work out of our home. He gets very tense and has started cursing in anger. I haven’t really minded, but it seems to be getting more and more violent sounding. I am a student, therefore, I am hope much of the time, working on papers and reading in the other room (we have a small two room apt). Tonight my husband was working and had so much pressure that he began to curse and then somehow he got mad at me about scheduling him and eye appointment. His anger was intense and ridiculous because I had asked him if he could do it several days before hand. I left the house to go for a walk and let him finish work alone. He called me and said he was done. When I got home he was still on his computer. It felt like a lie to me, and I am very sensistive to dishonesty. We were supposed to be at friends’ house for dinner and my husband hadn’t looked at the clock or done anything to prepare himelf. I was upset becaus we were so late. He still was sitting at his computer. When we left for their house we were almost 45 min. late. He told me not to blame it on him or anything on him and then I said that I was sick of his anger and not to take it out on me anymore. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable pretending at our friend’s hosue that everything was alright. He was so angry that he said that I am an expert at pretending because I work in the church. This was the most painful thing he has ever said to me because my work in the churh is so important to me, and I feel inadequate at times as a leader. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he meant exactly what he said. I wondered if he meant that he doesn’t believe in God? This would be very hard for me becasue of my position in the church. During this conversation his feelings of anger escalated to the point where he pulled his hand back and I thought he was going to hit me. He dropped his hand, and I asked him if he was going to hit me. He said, NO he was going to hit the dashboard, but I am not worth hitting the dashboard. We had to be honest with our friends and tell them that we couldn’t have dinner with them. I prayed and asked God to show me if God feels that I am pretending when I lead in church. I looked at an email from a supervisor who encouraged in my authenticity and love of Christ. This is how I feel when I serve the body of Christ. When my husband uses anger and words that arent’ true I do feel worthless and that ” I am not worth, hitting the dashboard.” But I only feel that way for a second because I know who I am in Christ and I know that God loves me and that when my husband is speaking to me in anger, how could truth come out? Now I don’t know how to act towards him. He says that I jabbed him and caused him to react angrily. I was very hurt and was reacting very frankly and strongly. He mentioned leaving me and letting me be with someone better. He took the keys out of the car and told me I could go, but I told him, no way, you can go- it was my car and we were in the middle of no where. I didn’t want him to go, but we are back at our apartment and he has gone on a walk. It is probably a good thing. I don’t know how to react to his anger and his actions. I want to stand up for myself and tell him that it is not ok to treat me in that way, but I am also concerned about him and the stress from work and how he feels right now.
We need prayer because when we made our vows before God we weren’t kidding, but now in the past few days we have mentioned separation or divorce several times. It is only when his work gets really stressful and he starts to lash out at me. I react in a frank and strong manner, especially becasue I was abused emotionally and physicaly by my father who also worked out of our home in a similiar manner. It is like re-living a nightmare, but I love my husband at the same time and never want to leave him. Please pray. I am a leader in the church and I have a strong faith and my husband does as well, usually. This is hard because I don’t believe in pretending in church. I don’t know what this will mean for the next time I preach or lead worship. Hopefully, it wasn’t a truth he was uncovering, just a lie said in anger.

Katie Francis from Princeton, NJ